The Computer Wore Menace Shoes

There’s a pattern to Tim Shriver‘s one-man crusade to curb the use of the word “retard” and its derivatives in the popular lexicon.

When it came out that Rahm Emanuel used the phrase “fucking retarded” to describe a proposed strategy for accelerating healthcare reform in August, Shriver pounced on the opportunity for some publicity. Barack Obama’s political pitbull was reduced to a puppy on a leash before most people were aware he had used that phrase.

Maria Shriver accompanies Tim Shriver to a Special Olympics event.

A few months before Emanuel’s outburst, Obama had his own disability-related miscue, on national TV, no less. Shriver was on “Good Morning America” the next day to play up the president’s apology for the good of the Special Olympics.

Yet between those two incidents, actress Megan Fox declared to People magazine, “I resent having to prove that I’m not a retard – but I do.” That remark didn’t even register on the Shriver righteous anger meter (despite other people showing outrage).

In January, Shriver even had a chance to drum up international support for the Special Olympics. Argentine soccer star Carlos Tevez called former Manchester United teammate Gary Neville a retard in the press after a heated exchange during a match with Tevez’s new team, rivals Manchester City. Again, not as much as a blip on Shriver’s offensive comments radar.

Rush Limbaugh’s “retard summit” registered a 10 on the Shriver scale, and the CEO’s rebuke was swift. But Utah Sen. Chris Buttars will preside over a gay wedding before Limbaugh apologizes for anything.

(And, interestingly enough, although Emanuel’s use of the word prompted Sarah Palin to call for his dismissal and remind everyone she’s still here – as if anyone needed reminding – Limbaugh’s usage brought her to his defense. No word from Shriver on that front, either, but it did inspire this gem from Stephen Colbert.)

Even though there’s a growing consensus that Shriver is playing word cop and/or self-appointed censor, if you look at his actions you’ll see some pretty deliberate outrage. The targets of his ire – Obama, Emanuel and Limbaugh – have all been big political figures. Celebrities’ and athletes’ retard-related faux pas are forgettable because they wield influence only in popular opinion.

If Shriver chastises a famous person, he gets his or her apology and attention from that person’s fans. That’s great, but it doesn’t pay the bills or pass laws.

If, however, he takes a politician to task, his or her livelihood has been threatened, and it’s going to take significant backpedaling and promises of support and cooperation to make it go away, which is exactly where Obama and Emanuel ended up. How did they make up for it? Committing “that the administration would continue to look for ways to partner with [the Special Olympics], including examining pending legislation in Congress to remove the R word from federal law,” according to a press release from the Special Olympics.

Maybe Shriver’s repeated scoldings of public figures for using “retard” is annoying, but it’s getting him what he wants. By putting the spotlight on people with considerable political pull, Shriver is guaranteeing himself and his organization a shot at favorable legislation and perhaps other benefits. Once the word is eliminated from federal legalese, what’s left? Funding. More legislation that benefits him. A national intellectual disabilities awareness day/week/month.

Shriver might be playing word cop now, but if he keeps getting his way, he’ll be in a position to ask for much more later.

Dear Special Olympics,

As you probably remember, President Obama made what many people have labeled a gaffe on “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” a couple months ago when he compared his bowling ability to special olympians’. The fallout from his remark has been far-reaching and schlocky.

Obama has since apologized, and while I realize time may not, as the saying goes, heal all wounds, it does offer other people to harangue.

Good people of the Special Olympics, I would like to offer you Megan Fox as your newest effigy. The “Transformers” and wet dream starlet recently told People magazine, “I resent having to prove that I’m not a retard — but I do.”

I know, I know. Fox’s comment wasn’t related to sports, so it’s not exactly the same. But, take it in context, and I believe she’s said something worse than Obama.

Fox said she’s tired of proving she isn’t dumb, saying, “Take me seriously, I am intelligent, I can speak.” I don’t know about you, but I think saying people who have Down Syndrome can’t speak, are unintelligent and should not be taken seriously is far worse than assuming they can’t bowl well.

Perhaps of more serious concern, if Fox is among the 10 hottest women alive and she is retarded, how will that affect the millions of men who want some of that? Where will they turn if they can’t bag their assumed-retarded celebrity of choice? I believe we all have a duty to protect the disabled from such sexual predators.

Maybe the pain felt by Obama’s remark has not completely faded away, but I hope you agree Fox has made a comment that is far worse and potentially dangerous and take appropriate action.

Sincerely (but not seriously),

One American for equality